The Advantages of Silicone Adult Toys

What is silicone? What makes silicone sex toys different from other adult toys available on the market? Silicone is a non active manufactured compound that has a similar feel to rubber and is heat resistant. It’s free from phthalates (substances added to plastics to make them longer lasting and more flexible) which are thought to harbour chemicals which may result in mutagenic and carcinogenic effects on the skin. Some less expensive sex toys in the adult marketplace still contain phthalates which could or could not cause harm to the skin.

Silicone Adult Toy Advantages

Silicone sex toys are usually made from superior quality medical grade silicone which is used in medical applications as well. Medical grade silicone is perfectly suited to the making of adult toys because it is strong and tough. Silicone toys for adults also have many other plus points when compared with less expensive alternatives. As previously stated, they do not have phthalates in them. They also have the quality of being silky smooth to the touch and are soft enough to be inserted easily but rigid enough to retain their shape and hence provide real satisfaction. Silicone adult toys are also odourless, tasteless, hypoallergenic, anti allergic, waterproof (therefore easy to clean) and non toxic. Their durable properties also allow them to be heated up, cooled down and even washed in the dishwasher! A number of toys for adults made from silicone come with the added benefit of having some flexibility meaning they can be made into different shapes bringing about an easier way to target your sweet spot.

Silicone Sex Toy Brands

There are a number of brands that famous for their assortment of silicone sex toys. Fun Factory Sex Toys are so uniquely styled that they have achieved awards for their innovative designs. Their high quality products include male sex toys, clit massagers, vaginal balls, anal sex toys and strapless strap ons. Tantus Sex Toys are also renowned for their original designs and quality products which are on the whole made up of vibrators and dildos that are suited for anal or vaginal pleasures, and butt plugs. The majority of their colourful adult toys have flared bases which makes them compatible for harness use.

How Much Can You Expect to Pay For Silicone Adult Toys

As with all high quality items sex toys made from silicone do retail at a higher cost than cheaper alternatives with a number of silicone adult toys having a recommended retail price of up to £100. Nonetheless it is possible to also get a good quality silicone vibrator, dildo or anal toy for around £20. It’s well worth paying the initial outlay if you reflect that while some cheaper adult toys could only last a few years, silicone adult toys are durable enough to keep going for a considerable number of years to come. The fact that they can be warmed or cooled (increasing the array of sensations you can experience) and are also waterproof are more advantages.

6 Explosive Adult Toys for Beginners

If you have never known the joy of plastic, silicone, injection moulding, and what happens when you combine it all with a little whirring motor… you’re in for a treat! For those who have never experienced adult toys, it can be a strange and unusual world. Start small – here we look at some of the best toys for beginners.

Lubes and lotions

If you’ve never used a sex toy, it’s also highly possible you’ve never experienced the joy of lubricant… which makes everything that you’ve done dozens of times before magically feel heaps better! Go for cheap and easily available water-based lube, long-lasting silicone, or exotic warming and cooling lotions. Just make sure you use ‘protection’ for your

Lingerie

You know where your most powerful sexual organ is located… between your ears. And no, it isn’t your nose! Lingerie can help you see yourself, or your partner, in a different light, and is a gentle introduction to toys.

Cyberskin Toys

If you’re new to the idea of using things other than human bits in your playtime, Cyberskin is a fantastic way to start. It has an ultra-realistic feel, and isn’t necessarily as intimidating as glittery purple plastic!

Egg and Bullet Vibrators

These tiny little gems of joy are discreet and easy to use. Because egg and bullet toys are so small, they fit right in with whatever you’d usually do – just adding a little buzz to the experience. Most have varying speed levels built in… and if you’re into the ‘shared secret’ experience, you can also get remote control vibrating knickers or insertable eggs, which your partner can turn on and off at will while you’re out in public.

Cock rings

For guys that haven’t had much experience with sex toys, cock rings can be a great place to start. Choose a cock-only ring to start with, as opposed to a cock-and-balls ring. Cock rings will help you last a little longer and get more pumped up.

Dildo Vibrators

These toys combine the best of both worlds, both standard and vibrating stimulation. If you want to buy your first toy to last, choose a vibrating dildo!

adult toys

How Pornography Addiction Affects The Sex Lives of Couples

If one half of a couple is addicted to pornography in a monogamous relationship, it is a certainty that over time, the amount of sex that couple will have will reduce significantly (and eventually disappear altogether) and that any sex they do have will gradually become less loving and more perverse or aggressive as time goes on.

Many partners of porn addicts explain how at the start of their relationships their sex lives were breath-taking and about emotional and sexual intimacy but that over time – as their partner’s porn use increased – sex became less tender, more aggressive and far less frequent.

As this happens, many partners gradually begin to feel nothing more than objectified tools for the instant gratification of their porn addict – and totally interchangeable with porn – and cry inwardly at this. Some feel like punching their addict in the face when they are reduced to body parts to be mauled and assaulted during sex. They know their partner’s minds are with the porn images and porn performers they have seen and that they are – in effect – just pseudo sex dolls. They cease to feel cherished as a result. For many, kissing vanishes too – both from sex and their relationship as a whole.

Many loved ones feel that their partners would rather be having sex with “perfect” porn performers and not with their imperfect selves and this makes them feel ugly and undesirable which slowly but surely chips away at their self esteem more and more every day. This is made all the worse when porn addicts ask their partners to re-enact porn scenes they have seen or to act like porn performers during sex. Knowing their partners can only keep an erection if they do, they comply but then feel cheapened afterwards. Sex soon becomes utterly devoid of any real intimacy as a result. Sometimes, partners are not even asked for sex but are just taken roughly from behind. Others are groped whilst they sleep. This is probably because their addict has been watching “unconscious porn”.

As their partner’s addiction escalates, loved ones are often asked to do increasingly disturbing sexual things such as: remove all body hair so they look like the barely legal/ teenage bodies their partners are viewing; engage in S&M and bondage; have pain inflicted on them; have other people involved in their sex (which include “lesbians”, “shemales” and prostitutes); dress like porn performers or strippers; allow themselves to be slapped or strangled and are asked to have rough anal sex – amongst many other things and usually dependent upon what the porn addict has been viewing.

Their porn addicts soon begin to scare them. At first loved ones believe their partners behavior is simply sexual experimentation but soon realise something seriously untoward is happening yet loved ones can still be plagued with the feeling that it is they who are over-reacting and their partner usually agrees – telling them it is they who are “prudes”. Many loved ones do not want to be giving their partners what they often term “the nastier stuff” because it feels like a sort of rape to them but often do not have the strength to say no because they fear their addict will do porn all the more – and this is one of their worst fears as the porn is “competition”. One woman in my research wrote “Porn to me is like him having a lot of different mistresses – all of which my husband prefers to me. My husband has something that I can’t compete with – a never-ending stream of women who will do whatever he wants and ask for nothing in return.”

Often, porn addicts will go to porn for their arousal prior to sex leaving their partners naked in bed waiting for them. This hurts partners deeply. Sex then usually lasts only a few minutes and then the person leaves them immediately after climax (that is if climax is still possible due to the erectile dysfunction issues addicts have due to escalating porn use which is often the case).

The partners of porn addicts become obsessed over time with trying to get closer again to their loved ones as well as doing all they can to control or stop their partners porn use and will often go to great lengths to try and accomplish these things. In the process they often end up abandoning all their inhibitions and do things they do not want to be doing. But even “spicing things up” (like being filmed, photographed, going to adult or swingers clubs with their partners or adding more people to the sexual mix) does not keep their partners attention for long. More is then expected sexually of the partner. And whether the loved one gives the addict sex or not, the porn use never stops regardless how many times a day sex is given. Often, partners find their partners doing porn soon after having sex with them.

Often loved ones will start off being “the cool wife/ partner” by watching soft-core porn with the person, getting them subscriptions to porn magazines or porn channels as well as doing the whole “strip club” thing with them but none of these things bring the couple closer together. Quite the opposite in fact. It pushes them further apart because the loved one is enabling the addicts addiction and sex eventually becomes non-existent. Instead the addict just ends up just wanting to do porn on their own as their addiction progresses and the loved one is always thrown on the sexual scrap-heap feeling like just a room-mate to the person. If sex happens at all, it is usually the partner who initiates it and even then, there’s no foreplay or warmth and the addict has trouble orgasming or simply just staying erect/ aroused. Often addicts will fake orgasm then masturbate to porn whilst their loved one is asleep next to them. Addicts cunningly cover their backs by asking for sex only when their partner is too drained to be able to do it. Begging for sex starts to become humiliating for loved ones.

And so it goes on and on… Sometimes loved ones sleep on the couch to try and get the person to see sense but their addict simply does porn more now they don’t have to think of their partner being in the bedroom. Or the porn addict says they have erectile dysfunction due to being on an anti-depressant only to then be caught by their partner downloading porn and masturbating. Porn addicts end up complaining to their partners about being hounded for sex which leaves the self esteem of the loved one in shreds. This is the same for gay and straight relationships and where the porn addict is male or female.

And yet here is the irony… When the partners of porn addicts are being rejected left, right and centre sex wise their porn addicted partners are likely acting out with 3D games that allow players to “have sex with” performers where they can “give performers virtual orgasms”. If they are not doing that they also have the choice to buy and “have sex with” performer “body parts” (vagina and anus) made in the performers exact measurements. The real life partner is dying inside waiting for their loved one to touch them meanwhile “sex” is going on with a blow up body part and one day soon, a virtual reality avatar…

Sex in the Age of Obama

Legal sexual assault, sex games for kids, collegiate drilldos. America in 2011 is a far cry from what your gramps or dear old dad ever knew.

Those “enhanced security measures” introduced by the TSA and fully endorsed by DHS Secretary, who also contends our southern border is secure even as Border Patrol agents and civilians are being slaughtered, have been denounced for what they really are: “tyranny, sexual assault and a violation of the Constitution’s prohibition against unreasonable search and seizure.”

New Hampshire State Rep. George Lambert has sponsored a bill that would make not just touching your “junk” a federal crime but simply viewing someone’s breasts or genitals by a TSA agent would constitute a sexual assault. Men and women have already reported numerous instances of agents not only abusing security requisites but even needlessly strip-searching people but arguing over who gets to feel up-they call it “pat-downs” pretty, young women.

Lambert thinks the TSA has gone too far. HB 628 would require agents convicted of sexual assault to register for life as tier 3 sex offenders. He’s not alone in his thinking although Rep. Laura Pantelakos facilely advised those who don’t wish to submit to the assaults to avoid flying.

Professor John Michael Bailey of prestigious Northwestern University would surely concur with Rep. Pantelakos and she might want to participate in his next after-class presentation on “networking for kinky people,” and maybe bring along her main squeeze.

Bailey indicated his entirely optional cocurricular activity following his human sexuality class and was not “for the faint of heart,” which was a good thing since it involved a female volunteer submitting to what could cause a stroke in those with faint hearts, and which should cause spasms of horror on the part of women’s rights proponents, although it resulted in neither.

With the assistance of her boyfriend, and purely for educational value, the volunteer was penetrated with a power drill adapted for that purpose.

“Bailey allowed a guest lecturer, Ken Melvoin-Berg, to narrate the use of the sex toy- referred to as a “f-saw” on a woman who was not a Northwestern student. Melvoin-Berg, who operates a local sex tour,… described [the demonstration] as “appropriate” and educational.” Others described it as disturbing. Student reaction was mixed. Rational reaction was repulsion.

Bailey issued a statement saying, “I expect many people to disagree with me. Thoughtful discussion of controversial topics is a cornerstone of learning.”

It’s amazing how tenure for university perverts permits them to adopt a scholarly aura. Parents of Bailey’s students must be so proud their cherubs are learning from him, especially since his resident expert was a “local sex tour” operator.

Based on Bailey’s concept of learning, parents of college kids and of high school and middle school kids must be positively ecstatic over Nintendo’s new raunchy Wii video game, “We Dare.” Some “outraged parents say it promotes orgies and lesbian sex to kids as young as 12,” but what do they know?

Britain’s The Sun describes the Play Station 3 innovation as follows: “The girls are seen with the Wii remote dangling suggestively between their lips. Players then hide the ‘Wiimote’ inside their clothes before the others spank their bottoms to control a flying cartoon character on screen. The men strip off for the girls as part of another task.”

Not content with spanking, “One version of the promotional video, already seen by 375,000 people on YouTube, ends with the lads swapping partners and apparently going off to have sex. An alternative ending has all four romping together.” The good news is that, “We Dare is intended for an adult audience” and “the age rating was set by an independent European panel.”

After all, what’s a game without a sexual romp and since Europeans established the game rating and American kids will respect that rating like they do the Bible, what’s the problem?

It’s unfortunate that the Transportation Security Agency, Northwestern University, and the makers of Nintendo don’t have the moral integrity of Brigham Young University which surrendered its chances for a national basketball championship by suspending Brandon Davies for the season for violating the school’s honor code

What to Expect at Your First Adult Toy Party

Since they’ve become so incredibly popular, adult parties – especially ones that feature toys and other products – are being attended by more women than ever. If you’ve been thinking about going to one, but have held off because you just don’t know what to expect, you can get a basic idea by reading through the information below. Chances are, you’ll find that today’s adult toy parties are a whole lot different than you’d think.

It’s All About Fun

Firstly, although adult toys are often the main premise for throwing an adult party, the real reason that so many women enjoy these get togethers so much is because they are a lot of fun. Getting together with a lot of other women, nibbling on delicious appetizers and sipping on champagnes or cocktails are all a huge part of the allure of these parties. Being social is the main point of adult parties, so if you like being around other people and having a good time, you’re bound to have a blast.

Let the Games Begin!

No two adult parties are alike, but games are usually a part of the festivities. These games help those in attendance loosen up a bit, and allow them to get acquainted with one another. Usually, they are very silly and don’t involve any actual competition. The end result of the typical adult toy party game is a whole lot of laughter – especially when a decent amount of alcohol is flowing.

The Main Event

Once the games are through and everyone has had a chance to enjoy some food and drinks, the hostess of the adult party will usually unveil the toys that are for sale. Most of the time, she will have a special table set up, and will present them one by one. This way, women can ask questions as needed and can even handle the merchandise if they’d like to. Although there are many different party ideas for adults, the toys are always going to make an appearance at these parties. After all, they are the inspiration for adult toy parties!

Bring Home Something Fun

Even if you walk into an adult toy party feeling reticent, nervous or reluctant about making any purchases, after all of the ice breaking and festivities, you may end up bringing something fun home with you. There is usually a broad array of products for sale, from relatively tame ones to more risque choices. Remember to keep an open mind, and try to get into the spirit of things. This is a prime opportunity to learn more about adult toys without having to walk into a strange store, so don’t be afraid to pick something out and bring it home!

The Top 7 Foods to Serve at an Adult Toy Party

Many different things have to be taken into consideration when it comes to planning an adult toy party. From displaying the merchandise to coming up with a series of fun and ice-breaking games to play, it’s important to cover all of your bases. If there’s one thing that you don’t want to overlook, it’s food. Having the right food can help make your party a smashing success. Below, you’ll find seven great foods to serve at adult toy parties.

Fruit Trays – Why should everyone who attends your party feel guilty about the fattening foods that they eat? By offering a fruit tray, you’ll give people a healthy option. Besides, there’s always some sort of delicious fruit in season. Serve with a special dip, or all alone!

Veggie Trays – Like fruit trays, veggie trays are healthy and flavourful ways to enhance the food choices at your adult party. Who doesn’t love carrots, celery, cherry tomatoes and other neat treats? Sliced up veggies are the perfect finger foods, and they’re definite crowd-pleasers as well. When artfully arranged, a veggie tray can actually brighten up a room, too!

Chocolate-Covered Strawberries – There is something undeniably decadent about chocolate-covered strawberries, which is why they are perfect for an adult party. Make sure to use high-quality chocolate to ensure a tasty treat.

Tortilla Chips and Salsa – If you have a knack for cooking, why not whip up some delicious homemade salsa? You could make mild, medium and spicy versions so that there’s something for everyone. Serve it up with some fresh tortilla chips and everyone is sure to love it!

Cheese and Crackers – Another foolproof combination is cheese and crackers. Invest in a variety of high-quality cheeses; choose a mixture of hard cheeses and soft cheeses to create a well-rounded selection. Make sure to offer several different types of crackers, too, so that people can come up with the combinations that are right for them. Few people will turn up their noses at cheese and crackers – it is a can’t-miss party idea.

Chicken Wings – Amid all of the fruits, veggies and cheeses, it’s smart to offer something from the meat category. Chicken wings are natural choices when it comes to party finger foods, since they are small and easy to nibble on. One caveat: Be sure to provide moist towelettes, especially if you serve barbecue chicken wings.

Kabobs – Finally, stuff skewers full of steak, chicken and a variety of different veggies to create mouth-watering kabobs. The guests at your party won’t be able to keep their hands off of these tasty treats – and they couldn’t be easier to prepare! It’s just one more way to add a dose of sophistication to your get-together.

Why Do Lesbians Marry Men?

We can thank Oprah Winfrey for bringing the first two reasons to our attention on a TV show. As with so many truths brought to light in modern times, this one raises more questions than it answers. Based on the small sample on the Oprah show, these divorced lesbians were about thirty years of age before they were fully aware of their sexual preference. We learn from other testimony, some homosexuals know they are homosexual before they know much of anything about sex. Why does one know at such an early age and another only after she becomes a wife and mother?

I believe, more often than not the desire to please overrides the need for personal expression. For those whose need for personal expression is greater, they quickly learn the expression comes at a price they decide to pay. These are the children other children assume to be homosexual (samesexual?), whether or not the prevailing culture has a label. That is, as children, we all knew children who were probably homosexual and not “normal”. We may have befriended them, ignored them, ridiculed or persecuted them, depending upon our own personal issues. But we knew they were different in all cases and did not try to hide the differences. Perhaps luck had smiled upon them. If they did not know who they were as many of us never do, they knew what they were – abnormal. If every night in their beds they wished or prayed to be normal, when the awoke in the morning, they accepted they were not. Perhaps a greater pain was to be experienced by those who never really knew until they became adults.

Those children in doubt had some protection from the cruelty, obviously homosexual children suffered. The doubt was protective because the normal children also had doubt but there was no practical test to apply. The doubtful homosexuals obtained the benefit of the doubt. Why ridicule one who may as readily ridicule me? It was a risk only the hard core trouble makers were willing to take. The rest of us could never be sure where the trouble makers were coming from so we tended not to engage in their games. We could be next.

Oprah has likely done more than one show about people pleasing. I do not know if she ever mentioned this is a survival skill learned in the cradle but she probably has. The problem is the behavior outlasts its usefulness. It becomes part of our identity or self concept when it is only required in rare circumstances. We fail to see we can fall back on it when survival requires and make it part of our everyday personality, often losing all concept of self in the process. We are unhappy and sense many others are in the same boat. This is small consolation when the goal is happiness.

One of Oprah’s guests was happy in every aspect of her life except the realization of her sexual preference made her unresponsive to the man she loved. This created a sense of betrayal within her. This was a revelation. 90% perfect can leave us very unhappy. This also goes a long way in explaining the high failure rate of heterosexual marriages. One or both partners learning they married a stranger they only thought they knew. One can love a stranger all their life but is usually better off living with one they know and love.

I sometimes relish Oprah for the unintended lessons she provides. The unintended lesson of the show to which I refer is; sexual preference is important to sexual relationships. If they seem not to matter early, they will eventually. Another important lesson of this show was; a marriage between strangers does not always end in disaster. In one marriage both partners were closet homosexuals who had two children together. After the divorce, both found love with same sex partners. Their 14 year old son said he took a lot of crap at school about the new parental partners and also from the parents of friends. All implying he also had to be homosexual. He does not believe he is homosexual but we can imagine he sometimes has doubts about whether he might someday follow in his parents’ footsteps. He felt blessed to have four caring parents. Since grandparents so rarely perform this function these days, the boy is blessed indeed and will likely not fear his future marriage might end in disaster.

One remote guest was married for 25 years before discovering she was a lesbian, wondering if she would ever feel fulfilled since she did not want to end her marriage. Perhaps her loving husband would allow her a lesbian affair for the same reason. The marriage would be at risk, yet the possibilities for a happy ending were still good. If the marriage did not survive, both would be free to try again. A close bond among three caring adults, though not common, was also possible. Even when the marital bed leaves much to be desired, years of intimate living, can create a powerful relationship which survives the end of the commitment. If it does not, the problems went deeper than sex.

Adult Toys – Uses and Care

There can be no denying that when it comes to sex, nothing beats the real thing. However, one cannot also ignore the popularity of several sex toys and the continued introduction of newer models to satisfy a demanding market. This market is growing and as such we should pay attention to how people integrate these items into their sex lives. You should be aware that sex toys can also be used to enhance your sex lives and bring you and your partner to a new level of closeness and intimacy.

Loosely defined, sex toys are devices meant to pleasure the user sexually, usually used on erogenous parts of the body. There are a lot of sex toys available in specialty shops and through the internet, though most condom retailers are offering a product called the vibrating ring.

Probably the most common and most popular sex toy is the vibrator. Majority of its users are women, and most admitted to curiosity as the primary reason for initial usage. Though some prefer to use vibrators in private, it can also be used with a partner. For heterosexuals, vibrators can be handy when the guy comes off too fast. It can also be a part of your foreplay, to arouse you and your partner to greater heights. In instances when the vibrator is shared, as in lesbian couples, slip a condom over it before inserting into the vagina and put a new one before handing it to your partner. Make sure that it is also properly cleaned before storing.

Dildos are also quite popular among the ladies, as they mimic the shape, texture, and size of a real penis, though they require considerably more effort than battery operated or rechargeable vibrators. Again, it would do some good if you slip on a condom over it before using, especially among lesbians who use it to pleasure their partners. And even if you are using it alone to masturbate, a condom would still be advisable unless you are pretty sure your storage place is totally devoid of germs and other irritants.

There is also one recently introduced product that is fast gaining a loyal following, the vibrating ring. It is a device that is slipped on the penis, and over a condom, and is used to enhance the pleasure of both partners. The vibrating ring has a small battery within the rubber casing. Women who have tried it claim of achieving multiple orgasms through the use of vibrating ring. And the best part of this is that men can take part of the action, too. A vibrating ring is known to extend the erection of the penis. It also has bumps and raised surfaces for heightened pleasure. And because it is stretchable, a vibrating ring can accommodate any size of penis. Vibrating ring users also revel in the fact that this device is portable, easily concealed and thus can be carried almost anywhere.

Though the use of sex toys to achieve self-gratification is an effective method of birth control, don’t think it will turn you away from the pleasure of real, consensual sex. With the availability of contraceptives and protective devices such as condoms and pill, sex is and will always remain to be life’s most enjoyable activity. However, there is still no denying that dildos, vibrators, and the vibrating ring afford much pleasure to their users and will continue to enjoy great popularity.

 

Have you ever experienced virtual reality porn? You can watch on your smartphone on gay porn vr.

The Lesbian Science of Love

You say love is a gut feeling, that it’s something that you just know? Then why doesn’t it always keep the intensity and relationship going? If it’s such a strong emotion, if who we are drawn too is so animalistic and uncontrollable then why doesn’t it always last?

Attraction is just the initial trigger that pushes you into a relationship with another person, unfortunately it is not the main component that will maintain a healthy and fulfilling lesbian relationship. There are four important skills of a healthy relationship that have been studied and found in long-term relationships that have increased love and intimacy in couples. Knowledge and practice of these skills have been found to sustain couples through their hard times together, as well as allow for growth in the individual and the family system. Learning these four skills and putting them into action on a daily basis will increase the success of your relationship as well as maintain healthy boundaries and love for each other. Let’s explore these skills further:

Vulnerability. I have seen people physically cringe when I have mentioned to them making themselves more vulnerable and open to the people in their life, especially their partners. We have this skewed understanding that we need to be perfect and do everything independently and be “okay” all the time. WOW, you must be exhausted attempting to do the impossible. Perfection is a big fat lie told to children and as adults we have had that tape recording in our heads on for so long we actually think we need to keep it rolling. Allowing your partner to be there and feel needed will bring you closer and support your love for each other.

Letting your guard down to someone you love is a wonderful feeling, it allows for trust to be built which in turn increasing intimacy. However, if you struggle with all of the above and being close is a double edge sword, meaning being close is something you want but feel pain when you have it, I would suggest therapy to work on those issues. Again, self-care and opening up to a therapist will allow you a chance to learn skills for a healthy relationship!

Communication Skills. We are born with the ability to speak but not the skill to communicate, that is something which is learned over time. If you want to be heard by your partner then you need to know how to convey the message you want received. Always use “I” statements when sharing how you feel, “you” makes people defensive but if you take responsibility for how you feel then it belongs to you, so you have the power to change it.

Another communication skill to learn is the WIN formula (When, I, Need), this is a very effective method of communicating with little conflict arising. It should go something like this, “When (the action that took place) you forgot to pay the bills the other day, I (feeling it gave you) felt scared, I need (how do you want it to change?) you to let me know if you need help with that or a reminder so we don’t fall behind.” It’s important you practice these skills daily so that when conflict arises you will be well prepared and it will come automatically. New skills can not be learned when angry or fighting!

Commitment. Not so much as a promise but as an agreement that needs to be followed through. Commitment allows trust and intimacy to develop and continue to grow. As I have mentioned in previous articles and to my clients, everyone should have personal rules, such as no violence will be tolerated towards me. We also need relationship rules, agreements that you and your partner have come up with together in order to foster love and respect. That is all commitment! Without commitment to those rules chaos is created as well as the opportunity for either you and/or your partner to get hurt. It’s important that you both sit down and discuss expectations and what you are able to provide to the relationship. For some it may be staying faithful to your partner, for others it may be having an open relationship but one where affairs are discussed and agreed upon. As long as you’re open and truthful you are committing to that person.

Accommodation. The definition of accommodation is voluntarily changing ones behavior to meet the other person’s needs. It can be preformed in endless ways, however many choose not to accommodate their partners due to pride, selfishness and anger. When someone can change certain aspects of their behavior for the better of the relationship not only the relationship flourishes but you grow as a person. This is different from saying “yes” to everything and being a doormat, I am not suggesting you get used but discern what would be healthy for both your relationship and yourself. For example, my ex-girlfriend who enjoyed heavy metal music would only play it when our two-year old was at day care or out with me as I had shared it was something I did not feel comfortable having my toddler listen too. As hard as this was for her she was able to change, and found time to listen to her music, and when we were together as a family she would play music we could all enjoy. I felt very loved and most of all we both could enjoy time together with music we loved to dance and sing to with our little girl.

There are exercises that you can have fun with and experiment with that promote intimacy and closeness. I suggest you try them with friends, family, and/or your partner. They are a lot of fun and they will give you a glimpse of how we can connect on a deeper level!

Two as One: Embrace each other and begin to synchronize your breathing for a few minutes. Feel like your breathing as one!
Soul Gazing: Create a distance about two feet away from each other and look deeply into each other’s eyes. Go deep into their eyes, for about two minutes then share your experience.
Monkey Love: Standing or sitting close together, one of you starts to move hands, arms, and legs while the other person imitates you. You will be linked together through movement.
Secret Swapping: Write down your secrets and then trade papers and share what you have read.
Let me Inside: Stand or sit about 4 feet away and every 10 seconds move closer until you have reached the individuals personal space (18 inched away from their body)
Falling in Love: You are making yourself vulnerable here but trusting that the person will catch you as you let yourself fall backwards into their arms. Repeat this exercise several times. Research found that strangers who do this exercise feel connected to each other years later.
Mind-Reading Game: Write down a thought you want to convey and then try without words to convey this to her while she tries to guess it. If she can not guess it then reveal the thought and swap roles.
Love Aura: Place the palm of your hands as close together as possible but without touching. For several minutes you should begin to feel warmth and energy. A connection without touch!

These are all fun experiments to try to help you get closer, but love comes with time. It could be life changing to stop leaving your love for someone up to chance and actually take charge by changing the way you relate to them and how you view relationships in general. Who knows maybe when you change an old recipe for the new and improved one, the result might magnificent!

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